I didn’t see it coming. An accident that smashes into your frantic life, your hustle, your ‘get up and go’ survival mode – the thing that drives you day after day. Literally, I did not see this coming. In that split second, the moment before the vehicle smashed into us at full speed – the thought arrived: You are going to have an accident now and you may or may not live. Now hold on for your life.

Then everything went black.

Shortly after, I opened my eyes. The old vehicle was dusty – shaken to its core with the collective years of off-road memories now hanging in the air, followed by the realisation: We are alive.

Next up was the step by step process of dealing with an accident and documenting it, all in a hazy state of reality, of processing what had just happened, that there were no serious injuries and above all, no death.

More than not, a major incident such as this potentially comes with consequences, one way or the other. I accept that there is more I will go through. At this point, another wave of fear and thoughts of consequences come rolling in and the next potential reality crashes down, paralysing me with anxiety in its wake. In the meantime, business continues at full throttle. Our restaurant is fully booked for Father’s Day with record numbers. My right hand is fractured and there are plates to carry and drinks to pour. Our customers are blissfully unaware of the events of the weekend and are as supportive as usual of our journey forward. It’s hard but it’s comforting.

Come Sunday evening, frazzled and relieved that this weekend was finally over – I went to sleep and for a few sweet hours, all thoughts and fears vanished in the dark, dusting the black board clean of the weekend’s messy, frantic scribbles.  

In the early hours of the morning, before the birds had any inkling of the sun rising and the stars shone bright, I woke. This is my time; in the stillness of the night, at peace and in quiet when my day has not yet started. No distractions, no interruptions – just clear, purposeful thinking. It’s at this time, I find my way forward.

I know this: from the experiences I’ve had in the last few years, I trust that ‘Life has my back.’ I trust that my journey; the good, the bad and the challenges that come our way are designed to grow us and shape us into better, stronger human beings and are for the ‘greater good’ even if I don’t see how at this point. I know this because this has happened over and over again, and often, it’s only far down the road that the picture becomes clear.

At the event of facing something challenging, I have a choice. I can either plug into my fears and the paralysing anxiety and bad, non-aligned decisions that come with it, or into ego and become stuck in my self-righteousness, unable to accept, see clearly, take responsibility or find a way forward. I have a choice to prioritise perspective and to trust that if I am aligned with my higher self, life has my back and that what I am facing is necessary. To ask myself the question, how is this challenging me? What is it about myself that I perhaps have not seen or paid attention to, that needs to heal or for me to get better at? What is this pushing me to do or to face?

Embrace “Amor Fati” – To embrace everything – the good, the bad, the painful as necessary parts of your story. It’s not just acceptance, it’s choosing to love what shaped you. Some things didn’t happen to break you. They happened to build you.

For me, my ‘Amor Fati scenario,’ is that this accident has simplified things. It’s taken away some of the big ‘choices and options’ I had and like it or not, very definitely, has given me one way forward. The choice of how I get there is no longer a decision. And for this, despite the difficult road it might be and whether I like it or not, I am very grateful to know the path I must take. It is a relief just to know and to be able to go forward with purpose, direction and balance.

It sharpens the tool kit and gives me clarity regarding what to prioritize and what to let rest. It forces me to look at how I have been blindly ploughing forward at a frantic pace, solely focusing on succeeding and on the business and in doing so, neglecting other important areas of my life. Those ‘other areas’ are what have caught up on me, demanding I pull out of the race and reassess how I get to the finish line. Life after all, is not a sprint – it’s a marathon and a balancing act that requires perspective and alignment.

I can only focus on the next step right now. I do not know exactly what the lessons to come are. But I trust that by the end of this next chapter, I will be in a better place, the business will be in a better place and I will be better.